A Letter
by tessmagnolia
Summary: June Challenge - Carby based finale Epilogue.


OCOH June challenge:

_Carby finale epilogue.  
Needs a reason behind the box Carter was carrying.  
Word count 1250 – 1750 words.  
_**Disclaimer:** See previous fic entries.

**A Letter**

"What's this?"

"A letter?"

"I can see that, but why are you giving it to me." Abby looked at the addressee on the envelope, the scrawled handwriting read Doctor Weaver.

"Because I don't want to have to go back into work."

Something flashed in front of Abby's mind; the puzzle was fitting together. The box of paperwork he was carrying, his final words to her, the way he'd been acting all day yesterday – slightly distant and yet completely focused, possibly too focused, on his job – and now this letter, which could only mean one thing. She just needed the final piece that linked it all together, and she could only get it from him.

"So you're leaving?"

"Kem wants to go back to Africa." He leant forward resting his head in his hands. He was in Abby's apartment sat on her sofa, while she nervously perched on the edge of the chair not quite sure where she should sit or what she could even offer to him at the moment.

"Is that what you want?"

"What I want doesn't matter now."

"So you're back to that story?" Abby frowned at his response.

"What story?" His head shot up, his eyes glaring at her, the rest of him seemed uncharacteristically calm.

"You're same old story, you haven't changed." The irony wasn't lost on either of them, but they both chose to ignore it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The same story where you put everyone else first, where other people are more important and that's one of your best qualities." She added wanting to sound slightly positive. "Last year you did everything you could for me and I never realised how much… I never got the chance to thank you… And eventually you got sick of it." Abby put out a warning hand to stop Carter interrupting. "You need to go back to that state of thinking. I still know you Carter." She emphasised. "You wouldn't be happy out there. If you were you wouldn't have come back, and you definitely wouldn't have come into work."

"Well maybe I haven't changed, but things do, circumstances do and I need to adapt."

"Not if it's going to hurt you."

"Too late for that."

"But it's not too late to save yourself from falling further." Abby wasn't sure why she was saying all this, hell this wasn't even her talking. At least not the old Abby, the old Abby would have brushed this under the carpet and hoped that it would eventually work itself out, or that she would be given an escape route.

Watching Carter, Abby noticed how different he was. Not just because of the tragic loss of his child, she'd noticed it since he'd been back. Though if she was honest she'd noticed this change in him long before he'd first gone to Africa, she just wasn't ready or willing to deal with it then. Now she might not have the chance.

Moving from the chair she sat on the coffee table in front of Carter and took his hands in hers. Abby waited for him to look into her eyes before she started. "Do you love her?"

She saw a flicker of something, something she couldn't quite place, but before she could analyse it, it was gone. Now all she could hope for would be his willingness to confide in her.

"I don't know, I just feel numb."

"Did you love her?"

"I cared for her. She was the mother of my child and made me feel wanted." Abby put the jolt of pain she felt at that remark to the back of her mind. This wasn't the time for her feelings. It also wasn't the best time for him to start opening up about this, there just wasn't time not to. If she let him go then it could be an even bigger mistake – now it was her turn to take care of him, stop him from falling.

"Carter…" Abby strived to find the right words, but he cut her off.

"I have to be strong for her."

"What about you?"

"I don't matter."

Abby had to stop her self from scoffing, this was one of Carter's best most compassionate traits, but it was going to kill him.

"You matter to me," she brought his hands gently into her lap, "and if you go back to Africa who's going to be there for you? Kem has her friends and family, you only have her. Luka and I, we want to help you… Let me help you." Her eyes were sorrowful as she tried to convince him, knowing that once again her words had come out wrong, instead of convincing him that she cared, she'd actually involuntarily told him that Kem couldn't possibly be enough for him.

Shaking his head, Carter grabbed back his hands. "We only need each other." He whispered, his voice full of tears. Unsure of what she should do, she did the only thing that came naturally. The nurturing part of her, that she'd had to use so often as a child, came back in full force. Standing up she moved closer to him wrapping her hands around his head she smoothed them down to his neck and up again. Trying to comfort him, hoping that the mess she'd made of things could be made right without words. Moments later she felt his arms wrap around her lower body and his head rest against her stomach.

They remained enveloped in each other's presence, neither willing to break the comforting moment. Inevitably the break had to come, the shrill of Abby's phone and the inevitable progression to the answer phone pulled them out of the trance.

_"Doctor Lockhart? It's Susan! Still waddling, pregnant and roughly the size of a whale." Her voice influxed with infuriation at the latter words. "Well, I guess you're out celebrating! Congratulations and call me! I need details of life outside my own cocoon."_

The room went silent and Abby gently detached herself from Carter's arms. Sitting beside him she tried to work out what to do next.

Luckily, well for her, Carter helped break the intense silence. "I'm really glad you went back."

"Me too, and it's all thanks to you." Abby smiled kindly at him.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you gave me the push I needed to sort out my life."

"No, you did this all yourself."

"But if you hadn't gone I wouldn't have had that reality kick in the teeth." She lightly teased, six months ago she was pissed, then depressed, but now she knew what a God send it had really been.

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me." Locking eyes, they understood each other more than they could ever express.

"What happens now?" Abby asks.

"Kem still needs me, I need her. Things aren't perfect, but she knows how I'm feeling."

"I just want you to be happy John. And if that's with Kem, in Africa. Then you have to do it. I'll miss you, but you have to be happy."

"You're right."

Abby nodded in agreement, coming to her own silent conclusion of how Carter could be happy, but wanting to support him.

"Not about that." Carter smiled sadly. "I would never really be happy in Africa, but at the moment I wont really be happy anywhere. Kem's leaving for Africa, she told me she's going with or without me. Which I guess tells me how she really feels, I was just too stubborn to think differently."

"She cares about you."

"It's not enough." He shook his head regretfully.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. A year ago I needed to sort out my head, I still do. Maybe I'll go spend time with my Dad."

"Sounds good." Abby smiled, hopeful that this time Carter would get some happiness.

They stood up, mutually understanding that this was Carter's cue to leave. Carter turned almost shyly to Abby and then pulled her into him, he held her close and breathed in her fresh scent.

Pulling away, Carter said. "I should go pack. I want to settle Kem back home before I start working on myself."

"Are you going to come back?" Abby asked as she unlocked the door to let him out.

Carter grinned slightly. "You don't get rid of me that easily." Pointing to the letter on her coffee table he continued. "Tell Weaver I'll call."

**Authors notes:** Some of the things Carter and Abby may have said or responded may seem slightly out of character – but I think in the finale both characters had slightly unusual traits than normal. I also wanted to demonstrate how Abby had grown and changed.


End file.
